Learning to walk again

A little less than two weeks later, I'm guessing some people are probably wondering what ever happened to me after I got hurt. If not, well, just don't tell me, so then I'll think you have been.
I was in my giant, hideous blue cast for about a week, but after about 5 days I stopped using crutches and was putting some pressure on my left leg. Putting pressure on it wasn't painful, but I was starting to get restless from my giant cast. I decided to go to the doctor early to see if they could give me a smaller brace. My wish was granted the next day, and my other brace was a lot smaller. The nurse who gave me my brace asked if I would be interested in seeing the doctor earlier than my scheduled appointment. Of course, I said yes. I ended up getting to meet with my doctor the next day, and she checked my knee thoroughly. The main thing I was scared of was bending my knee. I had tried once, and didn't get very far before excruciating pain hit.  Of course, the first thing my doctor did was try to bend my knee. That was possibly scarier than my whole ER experience right after the injury happened. The fact that I was on a high dose of Percocet in the ER, so everything seemed fine, is beside the point. The doctor was able to bend my knee to more than a 90 degree angle, which I was shocked at. After checking to make sure I got my knee back into place correctly after dislocating it, she said she thinks I sprained my MCL, which is a large ligament on the right side of my knee. She said all my other ligaments and tendons around my knee are super strong, which is very encouraging to hear. The main problem, however, she thinks is in my meniscus, which is right under my knee cap itself. This is something that really cannot be fixed or healed over time like my MCL. This means that the increased risk of re-injuring my knee will always be there, unless I get surgery done.
After all of this news, the doctor said she no longer wanted me to use the brace at all, unless I found it necessary. She said I need to be using my leg normally, and that what has been injured is done, and will heal in time. I go back on May 4 for another follow up appointment, which she might then tell me to proceed with physical therapy or something, depending on how well I have been recovering this week.
In the past two days, it has been quite the adventure trying to learn to walk again. After having my knee/leg completely immobile for ten days, it was a little stiff. It also feels very vulnerable and at risk, so that stresses me out. I can pretty much walk normally now with only occasional pain. There is still swelling, but I am taking noninflammatory for it. I still can't do stairs very well, especially down; it is way too painful. I'm working on walking up stairs today, and will see if I can do that well in the next couple days. It's just little steps each day in this long recovery process. Going up stairs should be something I can get the hang of somewhat quickly, but going down might be a while.
Again, I cannot thank everyone enough for all of their prayers, support, and encouragement over the past couple weeks. God has been teaching me SO much through this difficult adventure.

Now  that we have all that health stuff taken care of, I'll post again soon with everything else that God has been doing in my life. Job beginnings, school coming to an end, friendships, provisions, hard times, and things to be thankful for.

For the Love of Sports...

If you know me, you know I pretty much live for being active. I take advantage of any and every opportunity I get to go outside, run around, play frisbee, volleyball, or any other active sport. This month, it's been indoor soccer. I joined my buddy's intramural team, and though I wasn't too into it the first game, I ended up really enjoying it. Our team did quite well, and was undefeated going in to the championship game last night. 

Being a girl who grew up with all boy cousins and lots of brothers, I don't like to be treated like a girl when it comes to sports. I want to be good and capable. (Yes, I can be competitive sometimes :P) Anyway. Last night those things kinda shined through and showed me the hazard side to this athletic part of my personality. During the last five minutes or so of our championship game, I was trying to get the soccer ball away from an opponent, and my leg moved a little under his in the process. He didn't know my leg was there, and abruptly moved his leg. Consequently, my leg went with his, dislocating my left knee super bad. I immediately straightened it, but was in serious pain. I grabbed my knee right away and shouted that it had dislocated. My friend Jarred was instantly at my side, picking me up off the court. Again, for those of you who know me, I have a pretty high pain tolerance, and hardly ever cry. The fact that I was immediately in a lot of pain, immobile, and crying, said a lot. I got some ice and advil, but the pain was still pretty severe. This had happened before to my right knee, but once I popped it back into place, I was good to go. The fact that I was still in so much pain told me that this was a lot worse. Jarred and Alec helped me down from the gym to my dorm, where Alisa and Eleanor were waiting for me. I made it to my room, but soon knew I needed to go to the ER. My RA Jen and Alisa sacrificed their night to take me. 

We got to the ER and the nurse could immediately tell I was in a lot of pain. She gave me "four stars", which I don't know what that means exactly, but it resulted in me getting back and cared for immediately. After some strong pain meds, making new friends with all the nurses and doctors I met, and a few X-rays, they told me I had not torn any major ligaments, or fractured any bones. I am extremely lucky this was the case. Nevertheless, I'm still injured badly. I have a giant, hideous leg stabilizer and crutches. I will hopefully just be on the crutches for a few days, and then slowly be able to hobble around on my own. It is too early to tell exactly what is stretched, damaged, or sprained right now. I go to a follow up appointment on May 4 when they will be able to hopefully tell me the answer to that mystery, and tell me what the next step in the healing process is, whether physical therapy, or something different. 

In the last 20 hours, I have felt more loved and blessed and cared for than I ever could have imagined. Alec and Aaron brought me a Slurpee and spend some time with me in the ER last night, which I really appreciated. Alisa and Jen stayed up late with me, and everyone else in my hall is constantly checking up on me. I am so blessed and thankful for all my friends who have showed so much love and taken such good care of me. Hannah taking me to get my prescription today, Alec taking me to the doctor, all the encouragement cards and candies...prayers, phone calls and texts. 

So now, for all of you who have heard about my injury, seen my hideous brace and crutches, or seen a comment on Facebook, you now know my epic battle story. 

Please continue to pray that I heal quickly and that nothing major is wrong; that it will heal quickly. Also that I will be willing to accept the fact that I need to take it easy, and that I can't be the independent person I naturally am. That it's okay to let people help and take care of me. =)

Today, I saw a quote on my friends phone that said, "I'm not telling you it is going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it." Hopefully, somehow that is true for me in this situation. I'll be openly trying to find out what God is/will teach me through all this. 

Dear Spring, please stay forever.

Earlier this week, when I woke up and looked out my 3rd floor, south side, Balyo window, there was a thin layer of white snow covering the ground of our campus. This morning, I woke up to the brightest, warmest Oregon sunshine I had seen in a loonnnggg time. Dear Spring, please stay!
As I gathered my backpack, keys, and ID card to leave the room, I kept walking past my wardrobe where I usually grab a jacket before heading down the stairs. Though I hadn't been outside yet, I knew it was just too sunny outside to wear a coat; even if it was cold.
The sun got warmer and brighter as the day went on, and as a result, the exciting, lively and happy buzz increased around campus. Every time I walked around outside I saw shorts and frisbees, people studying in the lawn, classes happening outside, people carrying the first picked daffodils of the season, sunglasses and shorts, and LOTS of smiles. The atmosphere of campus was more chipper than I had seen it in a long time. It felt so good.
Through all my classes I couldn't wait to be done so I could go and soak up the sunshine. My friend Kayli and I decided to put on shorts and a t-shirt, grab our iPods and go for a jog. Though I've been trying to work out more, it's not been near warm enough for me to have enough courage to run outside. It felt so good to be out in the fresh air and enjoy the incredibly beautiful day God gave us while running and letting my body function and get in shape, just like God designed it to do. =) I LOVE that feeling.
I could go on and on about the blissful things that happened today, but I won't. Just know it was a beautiful day, and I love the sunshine, and love spring!

Time to Escape

{Escape} - To break away. Why? To remember you're alive. To take the time to perceive the beauty you're constantly surrounded by, but oh-so-often forget to take in; forget to enjoy.
 So much happens in a day. From the time you wake up, until the time you lay down to go to sleep tonight, countless, and I mean countless, thoughts, decisions, actions, movements, perceptions, people, sights, sounds, and feelings fill our day. Life in general, but I have found especially since I began college, is really busy. Classes, homework, eating, people, errands, reminders....so many things fill our day. Amid all this, how often do we take time to step back and soak in everything that's surrounding them? How often do we forget to remind ourselves not to stress or get too caught up in our "busy day" and enjoy and embrace everything that's going on. The sights, the smells, the feelings, the smiles, the trees, the wind, the lights....
IMPACT. Every little thing impacts our day, whether we take the time to soak it in or not. Whether we take the time to notice it or not, they impact us. WHAT IF we took the time to soak in all those things though. All those things that happen throughout the day that we don't even notice...what if we did? How much more would we take from each day? How would we be impacted? What more would God teach us? How would we grow closer to Him by it? Maybe we wouldn't...but knowing just the small bit I do about the God I serve, I am pretty confident it would make a big difference.

This weekend, I'm taking some time to escape. To break away. Not from anything bad, I love Corban, I love my friends and I love my life. But I need to take some time to reflect on all the things God has been showing me, that I haven't taken the time to notice. I want to see what more He has to teach me.
 Thanks to all of our great president's, we don't have school on Monday. I also only have one class on Friday's, which is quite nice, if I do say so myself. All that being said, tomorrow morning my buddy Meesh and I will pile our hats, gloves, sweats, scarves, hand warmers, and snow gear into the back of my cousin's classy Oldsmobile and head up to my grandparents wonderful cabin in the breathtaking Blue Mountains. Along with my cousin Kristin, along with her kids and a few other cousins, we'll enjoy a chill weekend snowmobiling, playing games, watching movies by the fire, snowball fights, taking pictures, and drinking hot cocoa. Not to mention eating my grandma's wonderful cooking, which will be extra glorious not coming from the school dining hall, just sayin'.
6 hour car drive? We're prepared. It's more like the Dutch Bros., stereo system, snacks and passing cars that should be prepared.

Peace. Sunshine. Contentment.

I was talking with a friend this week about sunsets. She's from Montana and gets the privilege of witnessing spectacular sunsets every night. Blues, pinks, purples and oranges fill the sky, filling clouds with luscious color as another day in this world comes to an end. She told me when she first arrived to Oregon, there was a "mediocre"  sunset one evening, but people were everywhere around campus stopped mid-step in wonder of the sky. Taking pictures, commenting, squealing, etc. At first she was utterly confused at what they were all drooling over. She found out the reason behind all the commotion was the sunset that she thought was nothing out of the ordinary, especially in comparison to what she was used to seeing ever night growing up.
Being the typical North-westerners we are here in Salem, Oregon, this time of year, if there's even one day without rain, and you can feel the tiniest bit of heat from the rays of sunshine, your day is instantly better. For some reason, God has decided to bring us a little bit of spring in February here in Salem this year. This past week we have had gorgeous weather, with sunshine and blue skies, as well as breathtaking sunsets almost every night. With the high of maybe 60 degrees, our college campus is still bursting with joy and energy from this irregular amount of sun this time of year. I have played Frisbee twice this week, which has made me happier than a puppy dog with a chew toy (you can ask my roommates!).
 Our long, relaxing days of Christmas vacation seem like they were forever ago, even though school has only been back in session for what, three and a half weeks? The first weeks were fun and easy, lots of catching up with buddies and goofing off. Those days are also, long gone now. Homework the past two weeks has been crazier than ever, and everyone seems to be exhausted. Beginning last weekend I found myself overwhelmed, tired, stressed, and unsure of how to handle it all. I think this is one reason God has given us the sunshine the past week. He knows how intense life can be, and He gave the beautiful spring weather as just one reminder that amid all the stress, homework, and restlessness, He is there. He's walking right with me. He's still providing blessing. He's still wanting me to draw near to Him.
Even though there are many many things that are overwhelming to think about in my life right now....finding a job for this summer, homework load, being away from my family, friendships at school, getting enough sleep, working towards my new years goals.....I am choosing to be at peace. I'm choosing to find contentment with where God has me right now, knowing that He will provide for my needs. He's walking by me every moment of every day, and He feels the same stress I feel. The same restlessness I feel.
The Scripture passage that has been on my heart lately is Proverbs 16.

Proverbs 16:1-4, 9:

 "To humans belong the plans of the heart,
   but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.

All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
   but motives are weighed by the LORD.

 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
   and he will establish your plans.

 The LORD works out everything to its proper end....

 In their hearts humans plan their course,
   but the LORD establishes their steps."

Last night Christian worship artist, Phil Wickham came to Corban and led our monthly worship night. During my time there, worshiping and connecting with my Savior, coming from some of Phil's lyrics from one of his songs, this is what He laid on my heart: Be ready. Be ready for when He comes again. Live in a manner that daily, momentarily prepares for His coming. 

This semester is only going to get busier, but I need to stay rooted in His word and love. I need to continue to build up my friendships with my outstanding friends here at Corban who encourage, inspire and motivate me. I also need to do my best to play an active positive role in their lives as well. I am so incredibly thankful for my AMAZING hall, my wonderful RA, and all the beautiful, life-long friendships I have developed with the girls I live with here. I am so blessed! 

How are you finding contentment? How are you finding God working in your life? Is it through the sunsets? Is it through what a friend is going through? Is it through going on a walk and just thinking about God, throwing all else aside? 

Whatever you do, live your life in a way that prepares you for when He's coming. We'll do it together. Let's go.