Salvador and Rosa

My best friends here in Autlan are Vicente, Salvador (Chavo), and Rosa. They are all brothers and sisters, and we hang out quite a bit. I really enjoy their company, they are good kids.
They come from a rough family, their parents divorced about two years ago. Vicente (20) along with one or two of the other kids have to work to help put food on the table. They have really opened my eyes to see how blessed I am to have all that I do. My heart goes out to them, and I want to help them as much as I can. More than food, clothes, and friendship though, I want to show them the love of Christ.
They come to youth group on Saturday nights, which is cool, and the past two weeks a few of them have come to Church on Sunday morning. On several occasions we've talked about what my family believes, and how they can know God better. They've asked questions, and all except Vicente, have been pretty open to it all.
After Church yesterday, Norma (a young, godly, friend of the church) asked if she could talk to Rosa. Norma, Rosa, Chavo and myself all sat down, and after talking for about 45 minutes, we prayed with Rosa and Chavo, and they became part of the family of God.
I think that they truly understood what it means, and afterwards, they were both really excited about it. Rosa came up to me, hugged me and with a huge smile on her face said to me, "now I'm just like you!" I hope that I will be able to see them grow in their faith, and see that it is truly their own, in the days to come. I truly believe I will.
I'm continuing to pray for their mom, and Vicente, and other two brothers, who have yet to feel the need for Christ to save them. I know God will continue to work on their hearts, that if He has chosen them, they will come to His feet.

This is what being a missionary is all about. I've sacrificed a lot and gone through some rough times to be here. However, I know now that two people that I care about a lot, will now be in the kingdom of Heaven with me and Jesus for eternity, which makes it completely worth it. And the fact that more people that I care about here have yet to come to know Christ as their personal Savior, makes me want to stay and keep working until they do. Even if it may seem impossible for their hearts to ever come to that place, I know God can do it.

Texas Group!

This week a group from College Station, Texas came down to Autlan for a missions trip over their spring break. They came last spring break as well, and everyone was very excited for them to come back! Some of the people on the team had come last year, and some of them I met for the first time. But by the time they left, I felt like we had all been friends for years.
The arrived just before youth group started on Saturday night, and the three teens on the trip participated in that with us. We introduced them to the wonderful game of "ga-ga", it was fun. Sunday we spend the day at church and in the afternoon we walked to the Carlos Santana park and played some basketball before going to the evening service at Pastor Leonel's church, Aposento Alto. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday we went to a little town about 30 minutes away called El Limon, and did door to door evangelism there. It was such an incredible week! Over 25 people in El Limon became Christians in the three days we were there. PRAISE GOD!! Christ's Kingdon was greatly impacted by their ministry here this week. You guys did awesome!! We had lots of fun in the car rides to El Limon and back. We played the slug bug game, listened to music, talked about random funny stories, and enjoyed getting to know each other better.
In the afternoons we would head back to the center to eat and rest for a while. Then at night we would play crazy games like "sardines" at the center, hang out, talk and laugh. =)
Tuesday afternoon we went to the migrant worker camp, and on Wed. night we went to La Roca and hung out there for the evening. Thursday morning we hiked up a mountain where a Mary altar is, and we could see all of Autlan! I had never been up there before, and it was so much fun!
Being around americans again (even if they have that crazy Texas accent heehee) was so awesome! I really enjoyed getting to know the teens that came on the trip. Brittany, Shannon, Rebecca, and Ben. You guys are so cool! I loved getting to know y'all better, I'm so thankful that God brought you guys on this trip, and that I now have four new great friends. =)

New Pictures

I updated the pictures at the bottom of the page. The ones that were there were from quite a while ago so I put some more recent ones up. Scroll down and check them out!

Even When I Fail

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father....For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:10-14


"Be careful then how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Ephesians 5:15-17


Sometimes I feel like the more I want God to use me, guide me, the more I fail when the time comes for me to live my life for Him. The more my selfish desires get in the way.
Many times a day I make wrong choices. I sin. I fail the God that I claim to love, and I hurt the people around me. I hurt myself as well. It starts out small, but as time goes on and I don't get a hold on it, it just increases. Pretty soon life comes crashing down on me, and I have no idea how and when my life became how it is now. I am in that place right now.
I could make up a whole list of a bunch of excuses for why I have allowed my selfish desires and sinful nature to get the best of me, but none of them matter. In the end, all that matters is that I've messed up. I've failed. And I need to admit that and ask for God's forgiveness.
So many times I live like the unwise do, even though I'm commanded in Ephesians to live as the wise do. My time here isn't much compared to eternity, and I want to make it worth something! I've messed up a lot. I've failed God, my family, my friends, my goals in being a missionary, in so many ways. I wish so much that I could go back and take away all of that. That I could start over and do things differently. But I can't. Luckily though, God gave us these two wonderful things called grace and forgiveness.
Tonight I was sitting on my bed after kind of having a "thunderstorm" came crashing down on me. I was thinking about how much I need to change in order to get things back on track, and to be used by God; make my life worth something in his eyes. I came back to the place of thinking 'I can't take what I've done back, so what am I gonna do? Is God really going to help me?' Which only made me more discouraged and more disappointed in myself.
I decided to spend some time in God's word, seeking his will. Knowing that he would have the answer for me. I read today's (3/11/10) devotion on http://www.tenthdotministries.com/ and then decided to spend some time in God's word on my own. He gave me the two passages that I typed out at the beginning of this blog. He showed me that all I need is to seek HIM. All I need is to ask and be filled with the Holy Spirit. I can't change the past, I can't take away all the mistakes I've made, but I can't make the future better either if I'm not filled with the Holy Spirit. God offers me grace, forgiveness, love, guidance, and hope. Why the heck have I been so stupid not seek him with my WHOLE heart?! I've been asking God why things in my life just keep getting worse, and why he isn't using me, when the truth is, all he's doing is waiting for me to be filled with his spirit.
When I was finishing up reading tonight, the song "Take Me as I am" by FM Static started playing. Even though I think this song is written in the perspective of a new believer, it's still true in my life. Here's the lyrics:


This time I finally see the reason why
I can't do this alone
It took some time and concentration
To believe it, this I know.
I need to build my faith sometimes
But I am so comfortable in line
I'm up there's no more time,
To try to mess with this design

Two nights compete everyone's asleep
and I don't want to say these words to you
I'll be your hand take me as I am
I just wanna be with you

Take me as I am cause I'm going
I was too scared to start now
I'm too scared to let go
Take me as I am, cause I'm growing
but its so hard to tell when I'm not used to this soul
Take me as I am, cause I'm going
I was too scared to start now I'm too scared to let go
Take me as I am, Cause I'm growing
but its so hard to tell when I'm not used to this soul

I lift my voice to sing out
Let the sound of my heart bring out
These hands aren't holding me down
Never again will I be with out
I need to feel my faith sometimes
But I am so comfortable in line
I'm up there's no more time
To try to mess with this design

Two nights compete everyone's asleep
and I don't want to say these words to you
I'll be your hand take me as I am
I just wanna be with you



All I need is God. But I have to make the decision to change and start working towards fixing things in order for anything to happen. It's time for me to "sing out" as I take God's hand and continue in the journey he has for my life.

Mom-thanks for always encouraging me and helping me through the rough times. Thanks for loving me no matter what and never giving up on me. I love you.

Dad- You're amazing. Thanks for being my dad and teaching me how to be a good Christian woman who loves the Lord with all of my heart.

Brent, Dane, Morgan and Christian- I don't know what I would do without you guys. I know I can be a bit of a jerk at times, but always know how much I love you. I want to be the best big sister possible to you guys, and to be a godly role model in your lives. You are all great and I love spending time with each one of you. Thanks for loving me even when I fail at being a good big sister.

Bella

This past Monday was an exciting day in the Bruggeman household. A friend of ours here in Autlan had thirteen Golden Retreiver puppies that she was getting rid of. Monday was the day they could leave their mother and go to their new homes. They were all sooo adorable, and we couldn't decide which one we wanted to take home to be the new addition to our family. We decided to take four sisters home for the afternoon, play with them, and see which one captured our little hearts the most.

Let's just say....not a whole lot of homework got done on Monday. They were all so stinkin' cute! We all just wanted to play with them non-stop! We had to return the three that we weren't going to keep at 5 o'clock, and at 4:15, we still hadn't decided. We all wanted to just keep all four! But we made a decision, and sent the other three back to their mother.

We named our new puppy Bella, (pronounced: Bay-yuh) which means "beautiful" in Spanish. And no, we did not name her after Bella Swan in the Twilight Saga.

I know everyone says that puppies are like the cutest thing ever, but seriously, Bella is the most adorable thing on this planet!! She is so playful and fun, but she also loves to snuggle and just lay in your arms. She definitely does not like to be alone. Even when she's tired, she wants to sleep at someones feet, or in their arms. We all are constantly playing with her and giving her attention, and she doesn't object to it at all.

The past few nights we have all been rotating for who she sleeps with. Two nights ago, it was my turn. I layed on the edge of my pillow with her face right by mine, and started to relax. About three minutes later, just after I had got comfortable, Bella gets up and walks above my head and onto my pillow. I lifted my head up and turned to see what she was doing, and BAM there was her little face, centimeters from mine. She had layed down right smack in the center of my pillow, vertically, and she looked completely content with herself. As I giggled and stared at her cute little face, I could tell she knew that she had the best spot on the bed. I couldn't fit my head on either side of the pillow, and I didn't know how I was gonna fall asleep, but she was just too darn cute to move off.

Having Bella does make us miss our last golden retreiver, Mackenzie, a lot. Playing with Bella makes us think of the fun times we had with Kenz and makes us sad to remember that we have to let her go. We will never forget how amazing of a dog Mackenzie was. No dog will ever be as amazing as Mackenzie. Nevertheless, we are enjoying little Belly immensely, I think she will be a great dog for our family.

Photos:

above: Bella (puppy on top) playing with one of her sisters

bottom: me and Bella